Last week, several little drips of annoyance turned into torrents and eroded my very last goddamn nerve.
You know how there’s small stuff you’re not supposed to sweat? Little slights, disappointments, slow walkers, people who dig their knives in the butter instead of scraping neatly from the top, that sort of thing?
Well it was about mid-last week when I hit breaking point on all of them.
After four and a half years of making my children food, and it very rarely being met with much acceptance, I put dinner on the table only to hear the 590238975th “but I don’t want that!” and tears. Normally I would reason them through it. Encourage. Suggest they eat the thing on the plate they do like. Perhaps take a bite of the new or just plain hated thing. Just keep swimming.
This time, though, I just stared at the children like I’d never seen them before. I felt weird. I think it was defeat. I just was SO DONE at doing all the right things at the right times and not making a fuss if they didn’t eat. I tried. I’ve tried SO HARD. From the minute they could eat, I was providing fresh, nourishing, delicious arrays of all sorts of things, like you’re supposed to. Buuuuuut it’s always a battle. Well at that moment I had about as much fight in me as a bath sponge, so the kids went upstairs without eating anything and were treated to some stern words from dad in lieu of dinner.
I’d like to say things have changed since then, but they haven’t. Still fussy, will still cry if presented with anything that resembles actual food. I don’t want to give them a dietary complex for life, so I’m in limbo at the moment. I have also started putting away a few dollars for their future therapist’s bills while crying into peanut butter sandwiches.
To make things even more interesting, I was also at the absolute end of my cliche when not one but both of the long-time lurkers who like to leave nothing but passive-aggressive comments on this here blog swooped on the same day. You know the type – the comment looks harmless to the untrained eye, but you know it has an undercurrent of snipe? They are the Regina George of comments. They make you feel uncomfortable but you sort of don’t know why, and when you try to explain it to someone, you look paranoid and over-reactive?
I was SO DONE with them too.
Just brush it off, you think. Just laugh! It’s not a problem if you don’t let it be one! Don’t let them get to you! Don’t give them the satisfaction!
Well, that’s fine for a while, but after years of taking their shit with a smile, I was just over it. For real, in three years there was only one comment that didn’t have a sneaky jab or a backhanded compliment in it and I was so surprised I nearly said something. Tolerance level for smarm: BELOW GODDAMN ZERO.
There’s only so many times you can brush something off before you realise you have no shoulder left.
Jay Z feels me! Just one of those 99 problems.
Torrent number three to knock me off balance was courtesy of the fines I incurred while driving 50km in a 40 zone recently. I didn’t know the area, didn’t know there was a different speed limit, and it wasn’t school time. When pulled over, I acknowledged my mistake, accepted my fines, apologised, and when the police officer asked me did I have any questions, I said no and prepared to be on my way.
Of course that’s when she decided leave a few accusatory parting shots, which called into question my parenting and basically left me feeling horrible. Suffice to say I went home, paid my fines and just tried to move on without replaying the incident more than 150 times in my head. But of course, fate has meant I’ve had to drive through the area again, which meant the drip, drip, drip of memory was never far away.
It even made me paranoid about how I drove, and I was just on edge every single time I got behind the wheel. This went on for a few weeks until it faded away with time.
You can imagine my surprise when I checked the mail last week to find a letter had arrived from the very same officer. I opened it curiously only to find the letter stated she had written my address down incorrectly on the original fine so she would be refunding my money and I would now be required to pay the new one.
IT’S LIKE IT WILL NOT GO AWAY!
The shit thing is she fined me twice that day, and she only refunded one ticket. I am expecting a second letter any day now….
*fails to brush dirt off shoulder*
So what do you do when you just are SO DONE that you can’t handle one single second more? Lose your shit? Eat chocolate? Cry into the letterbox?
Deb Baker says
Oh dear God! Do some people just not have a life? I can’t believe people leave snarky comments on this beautiful blog of yours. I think that people who belittle others to make themselves feel better must live very miserable lives. And as awful as it is, that makes me feel better. And also – karma! Hope things pick up for you. Even though I don’t often comment, I read your blog and it always brightens my day. xx
Veggie Mama says
Thanks Deb! I always appreciate it when I see your happy face pop up here in the comment section 🙂
Katie R. says
I think deeply on it all & fill up with rage. Then try to grow above it & eat lots of cake at the same time. Insidiously snarky comments are truly vile. Just say it & fuck off already! Hope it’s up from here. X
Veggie Mama says
Yeah that rage thing isn’t good for my arteries so I really do try to rise above every time it happens. And then… straw, camel… its all over. Agree with the comments, just be who you are! Don’t hide behind the fake concern!
sammie@theannoyedthyroid.com says
Oh George. I would bake a cake or go for a run (or do both but not at the same time.) Then eat said cake while watching 50:50. You must remember that winter always turns to spring (it’s the law of the universe) and those people who are putting dirt on your shoulder, their karma is a-coming. Just sayin’! PS I think this is an ace place – who needs lurkers anyways?!
Veggie Mama says
I cannot wait for the winter of my children’s food preferences to turn to the SPRING OF EATING EVERYTHING!
Mrs Woog says
Oh honey. That is all sorts of sucky xx
Veggie Mama says
What do you mean? I love paying fines twice.
Monique@The Urban Mum says
Hmm cry…although that might be a calmer version of reality…Must have been a full moon…I yelled at the kids to get their own bloody (dinner, school lunches….) last week. Friend had credit cards stolen last week, found the perpetrator, went to the Police – crickets and disinterest. My law abiding hubby, rolled (at 10km ) through a stop sign (yes I know it was against the law, I know), got slapped with a $350 fine. Haven’t had foul comments on blog thank goodness, however (she laughs…), not sure I could exercise your self control. I do not always stop to comment, however I read your gorgeous blog every time your note pops in my email and I love it. Have a lovely, cosy, grey weather day. x
Veggie Mama says
Well that is awesome to hear, thank you! My credit card was stolen too, I think it might just be a bad few months for everyone haha. Poor hubby, I know how he feels. I’m the straightest arrow that ever there lived, and to be accused of dangerous driving while going 50 really made me anxious. What if she carried on and charged me based on her word against mine? It’s frightening.
SawofHole says
Oh dear. What a shit storm! I hope the post felt good to write. I find that helps me if I write it down and read it over.
Better luck soon! xx
Veggie Mama says
I felt weird, like I was whining. I don’t like to whine. But I knew someone had to understand!
Lila Wolff says
I hear you on the food thing, I have an adult, teenager and little one all with frustratingly plain diet preferences. If it gets any worse I’ll be out on the footpath harassing strangers with baked goods for cooking validation!
As for the passive aggressive people maybe you need to take on my commenting policy
” I’m an avid answerer of comments and love respectful & robust discussion, points of view that differ from mine are always welcome. Comments or ideologies that are bigoted, racist, or in any way intolerant will however be dealt with as I see fit, Wolff by name wolf by nature.” just substitute intolerant for annoying, needling, passive aggressive and you’re good to go. You can even borrow my last name 🙂
Veggie Mama says
HAHA! comments that are snide and fake innocent-nice will be dealt with as I see fit. i.e. mocked mercilessly.
Lila Wolff says
Perfect!
Cat Conidi says
Oh I would like to say I deal with such shitty confluences of events with maturity but I really don’t! I probably fester for days feeling sorry for myself, bake too much and bitch to my darling friends who are willing to put up with me when I am in such a bad mood. And then, after a walk in the sunshine or some particularly sweet thing my 3 year old says I realise I am over it. I think you’re awesome lady. X
Veggie Mama says
Thank you loverly! I feel like you can cope for a while but when it all comes to a point all at once, my resources break down. You should have SEEN how much I baked! We had cakes out the wazoo. Ps how is he THREE?
Daisylou says
🙁 Been feeling like this myself. I get you with the cementers, they are so skilled at being sneaky its a dark gift. Hope it turns the corner into sunny street real soon.
Daisylou says
*commentors a made up word by myself but not cementers lol
Veggie Mama says
hahahah cementing their negativity everywhere they go! Nothing like a nasty vibe in your inbox! Can’t wait for sunny street
Amanda Smyth says
I generally have a good cry and then get up and make a different sandwich! Yesterday I cried at how lousy my parenting skills are. I hear you mate. Hope you feel better for getting this off your chest. x
Veggie Mama says
I hope I do too! Still watching the letterbox like a hawk. A nice dose of mild anxiety every time I check. Sorry to hear you were feeling down, this motherhood gig is INTENSE.
Domenica says
Sometimes people just need an imaginary kick up the buttisnski. Ignore the haters, hide the butter and tell the kids they are being food racist if they only eat white food. Chin up, buttercup. PS Love your logo!!
Veggie Mama says
HAHAH there is no racism in VMHQ food or otherwise. Catch on, kiddies!
Keri Krieger says
GET IT ALLLLLLL OUT! We’re here for you!! I was planning on writing you an email today to say that some how.. you and your meal planners have actually got me in the kitchen.. like really, cooking stuff that isn’t the pesto chicken and pumpkin soup I have been eating every night for the last 6 years… I’m not even joking. So I know Im not your kid or anything but if you could see the shock on the faces of my people… impossible shit done love… and as far as the other horrible types go…. well as a ‘friend’ of mine at a none disclosed work place says ….. we can turn their base chakras off honey…. just give me the nod 🙂 Everyone needs a really big sister some days. Hang in there xx
Veggie Mama says
HAHAHAHA! get those chakras tuned into nice instead of nasty. I actually wouldn’t even mind the nasty, just don’t be dodgy about it and pretend! come right out! So cool you’re eating stuff although pumpkin soup is pretty rad. I make a nice Thai one. When are you coming down this way again? oh and where do I get those wool tights from you told me about?
Keri Krieger says
I can’t stand pretend at least honest horrible you can avoid. Those tights are the bomb. Flox.com.au fleeeeecy 🙂 Poor Melbs has been neglected for its warmer cousin Sydney….. but I’m working out a way to be all places soon … I do love Melbs xx
Ellen Jackson says
Oh no! Sounds like you need time out. I so hear you on the fine business. I had an ongoing battle (in my head at least) for a fine we received just before leaving Sydney to move south. It’s a long protracted story but the frustration of feeling bullied by a large faceless government department had me in tears. No mean feat as I’m made of tough stuff. The whole debacle just would not go away. Two and a half years later and it still niggles a bit.
The food battle will improve. Promise. It’s hard slog and kids test your nerve but by putting in the hard yards now you’ll find that you have two happy eaters willing to try most new things in a couple of years time. Three to five years old like to push every boundary they can. School made a big difference for us and while Mr 3 is still a challenge, he is more inclined to follow his big brother’s lead. He still goes to bed without dinner on occasion though 😉 xx
Veggie Mama says
When an INTJ cries you know it’s a BIG DEAL. I may have leaked from the eyeballs as she drove away. I was crushed.
JohannaGGG says
All sounds horrible and unfair. I rant and rave and think it is time to take up yoga and meditation when I have these days. When my kid is fussy I like to think of a little boy running screaming from her in horror as she ate her raw carrots. Last fine I got I appealed and after it I got the appeal rejected I got a survey to ask if I was happy with how it was handled – well of course I wasn’t because they rejected my appeal! And I delete comments that I feel I can’t answer without dignity! But I still need better ways of dealing with the feeling that this is not the life I thought it would be. Thank goodness that kids are so cute and cheering at times!
Veggie Mama says
I don’t say anything because if you can’t say anything nice… ;-). I just let them sit there. Well that and the fact if I said how I felt, *I’d* look like the nasty one. Clever, huh?! And how funny – I already DO yoga and meditation, every day! can still lose the plot haha
JohannaGGG says
oh part of me thinks maybe yoga and meditation isn’t the answer and the other part of me thinks this is probably why you usually deal with it all well!
Veggie Mama says
yeah maybe I’d be a constant plot loser without it? I doubt it though, I’m usually pretty chill. I’m pragmatic, I understand the way the world works. But yoga is sooooo gooooooooooood
Dorothy says
I go to be bed and have a sleep. Amazingly the world doesn’t fall apart and everyone feels much better after I’ve been away for a couple of hours.
Veggie Mama says
yeah I definitely felt better the next morning. They might not eat but thank goodness they finally sleep.
Wanderlust says
Oh hon, sending you hugs from across the miles (or maybe you’d prefer a margarita?). I’m not sure I have any great advice, just empathy. I admire your perseverance on making healthy meals for your kids. I have pretty much given up. I can’t handle the continual rejection! As for passive aggressive commenters, they are worse than out and out trolls. They need to get the hell off their computers and go get some intense therapy. Go pour yourself a wine and cuddle a small furry animal!
Veggie Mama says
pass me the margarita and cats, stat!
Stephanie Jefferson says
Oh sorry to hear about your week! I just lost it this morning with a boy who just doesn’t listen too, somedays we just have to release that valve. Release away! As to food issues, we went down the route don’t eat go hungry, it works mostly. x
Veggie Mama says
haha yep I’m on that path. It’s nice food and you can have as much of it as you want but that’s all there is. Releasing valve as we speak!
Babs (patchworkcactus@typepad says
I drink wine.
Veggie Mama says
I think I might need to expand my current collection 😉
Kelly Exeter says
Oh matey 🙁 know the feeling so well. All these things just subtly erode confidence don’t they? Wish I could wave my wand and fix it for you 🙁
Veggie Mama says
yes! that subtle erosion. wearing you down. Perfectly summed up as usual, Kel!
Glenda Bishop says
I walk. Long walks. So long that your feet start to hurt but you keep going anyway. And then at the end you are so tired that all of the pain is numbed. Plus you get sun and fresh air, and with a bit of luck there’s something beautiful or funny to watch on the way. Nature always clears my head. And if that still fails, add a glass or two of wine and some chocolate at the end. Sometimes you just have to go there!
Carly Findlay says
I feel for you – go have a wine or beer or whatever it is you drink! Enjoy!
I was so done the other day – with rude people on the internet. Someone called my friend fat and ugly and stupid and when I said this wasn’t tolerated and blocked her, she took it to my public page, calling me a coward. Ugh.
Glad you wrote this – get it all out and breathe.
Veggie Mama says
Ugh those real trolls are actually hideous. I do not know how they sleep at night. You are so amazing for dealing with them – I’m surprised they haven’t worn you down yet!
Rebecca Zacher says
Oh I totally understand the kid eating thing. My kids ate a super healthy meal I made last night and I could of cried with excitement! So many days they push everything away and go to bed with nothing. Totally wears you down! You’re an amazing mumma, hang in there x
Veggie Mama says
And now your kids outnumber mine so I can only imagine the struggle! I’ve fought tooth and nail to get them (well, one of them) to eat veggies and rice but anything else – NO WAY. One of them eats no fruit except bananas. Cannot get them to change. Blows my mind!
Glamour Coastal Living says
I really am feeling you! I am bewildered by the nasty things people comment and post online. You have freedom to see and read what you want, so if they don’t like it, move on, stop following your posts (which are fabulous btw!) and don’t bother to engage. I just don’t understand it! Chin up, things can only get better!! xx
Veggie Mama says
yeah I don’t know either. They obviously haven’t liked anything I’ve ever posted, so why come back? I get it, you don’t approve, move on.
Liz Poke says
Buy yourself a punching bag and some gloves! Yoga and meditation (and wine!) are beautiful to keep the calm but sometimes you just need to punch the bad energy straight in the guts. I always feel like my heads is clearer and my feet lighter after a little session with a punching bag and pink gloves. Much love lady, it will get better!
Veggie Mama says
Oh man I did a boxing class once and thought I was going to die. Normally I just vacuum the floor really violently haha. I think punching a bag would be kind of like incidental exercise and that’s always a win!
Emily Psaila says
Oh man! I’m new to your blog but am really enjoying it! All I can say is: 1. Sometime mumas just have to do their blocks occasionally, and it sucks! 2. I hate those aloof mofos that think they can get away with their passive aggressive bullshit from the safety of their key boards, next time tell them to find another blog to haunt! 3. Sometimes the fine and chastising from the copper isn’t nearly as bad as the berating you give yourself and she dosent know what kind of mum you are. Try not to take it to heart xxx
Veggie Mama says
Oh thank you! Well I promise I’m not usually this down, haha. I think you’re 100% correct on all three counts. Here’s to children eating more and berating ourselves less!
Ingrid says
Chocolate helps, blogging helps and best of all a night out with your girlfriends!
I hope things improve!
Veggie Mama says
They already have! musta been a full moon 😉
Brigita says
I so feel your pain! I have these moments of desperation and defeat where I seriously consider just giving in and letting her eat whatever! But then my responsible side can’t let that happen… I have one super- fussy 4 year old that eats about 4 things, prepared always the same way, and I am at my wits end. I actually had to see a professional as she isn’t growing as she should, and we are trialling a personalised booklet for her, with spots at the back for stickers and paintings of all the new food she is trying/ eating. We got tomato added to the list- insert mother jumping from joy! Next is supposed to be broccoli- wish me luck…
And isn’t it true that once you are in this groove all seems to go from bad to worse? Well, hopefully the saying ‘All bad things come in 3’s’ is true for you, which would mean you are done now 😉
But if you are still feeling like you are ‘SO DONE’ go into your car (hopefully it is parked in the garage), close the door and scream as loud as you can, hitting the steering wheel for added relieve….
Veggie Mama says
Oh good luck with the broccoli! That can be a hard one. Will definitely head to the car next time I get the screams 🙂
shannon@ my2morrows says
Oh crap… You need copious amounts of coping cordial. Stat.
It can only improve from here and the sun will come out tomorrow! In the meantime, there’s nothing wrong with peanut butter sandwichesl 😉
Veggie Mama says
wine flavoured coping cordial!
earl hickey says
Don’t pay the fine. the cop made the mistake. You are now in the proverbial cat bird seat. You have the money in your pocket. sit back , gloat and do nothing . You just won one.
Veggie Mama says
Haha I would make an excellent cat.
Aly Petulla says
If you check the fine print, I think you can get out of paying it because of the mistake… don’t take my word for it but check. A relative of mine contested because of an error on the ticket and then didn’t have to pay or loose points.
Eat ALL the comfort food until this time passes. Holly called it the reds in Breakfast at Tiffanys. X
Lara at This Charming Mum says
Ugh, the getting kids to eat thing is a source of perpetual misery in our house. I can’t actually bring myself to send them to bed hungry, but I refuse to make 25 different meals to cater to every whim and fancy. Tricky territory. Hope things get easier this week!
Veggie Mama says
Yeah hopefully they’ll grow out of it sooner rather than later!
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
I read this in bed this morning – if you’ve read Mrs Woog’s post you’ll know I have just emailed her and asked for help 😉 – BUT I was furious at people taking pass agg shots at you through comments. I am NEARLY done today but I went and spend a redick amount of clothes and shoes and I feel a bit better…my kids hate food too – drives me batty but I’m slowly learning to let that shit go, or just leave the table myself and drink wine in the pantry, just kidding – I drink it in the garage so no one can see me!
Veggie Mama says
I always think of how it would have been back in the day – a nip of sherry in the pantry! I could totes go a nip of sherry if it didn’t taste like arse.
Sorry to hear you’ve had a shitty one too! Mrs W is great in those situations. I might go shop too, that might help x
Kerry says
I’ve had this sort of week – everything is crushing down. The straw broke yesterday when trying to hustle kids inside and our crappy screen door wouldn’t open. It can open. If just WOULDN’T. Asshole door. I had a very 3 year old tantrum where I let fly at it and pretended if I hit it enough it would fix it. Not my finest moment. Today is brighter already, hope your day is too x
Veggie Mama says
omg did you break it down? I TOTALLY would have. I’d have shoulder-barged that bastard and then felt really guilty about it later.
MotherDownUnder says
Yup. Over it. I just can’t.
Or at least that is how I felt last week.
I actually woke up Tuesday in the mood to get things done…kick some ass and take some names (is that a US only phrase?).
And then I read that Mercury is just about out of retrograde!
Fingers crossed things are on the up and up for you too!
Or will be anyway once that second (fourth?) fine is processed!
Veggie Mama says
I remember Britney’s grandpa saying it, so I’m going to say yes!
Cmon end of Retrograde. because for real.
Peachy Keen Mumma says
Well, you saw how I responded this week with my shitty neighbours. I was broken down, and that girl came to know the rage-monster that I usually keep hidden inside.
I know you said you hate confrontation but maybe enough is enough. Although I heard a well known video blogger say to never reply to trolls, but sometimes it just feel so fucking satisfying, right?
One of my closest friends has gotten a lot worse of the last few years about making snarky comments to me on FB. Plus I’ve put up with years of her odd behaviour. I started to wonder why I put up with someone who just back hands me emotionally all the time. Last month I wrote a message to her and her husband saying I would be pulling back from the friendship because I just couldn’t handle anymore. He owned up to his snarky FB comments, and apologised. She did too, but then picked apart every interaction we have ever had online (almost). I just don’t have the energy to reply. Which probably says a whole lot about the friendship. I’m glad they know now why I have gone silent though. Rather than just pulling away with out saying anything. BLAH BLAH!!! Sorry. I’ve gone on way too long. But I feel you is what I’m getting at! 🙂
Veggie Mama says
Oh that’s horrible! There’s nothing like those little needling barbs all the bloody time. I’m glad they admitted they were wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’d be steering clear of the both of them! What energy vampires.
As for your neighbour – HOW FRUSTRATING It would have been when she played innocent and was all like “oh what’s wrong?” GGRRRRRR
Sonia from Sonia Styling says
Mercury has A LOT to answer for lately. Everyone I know has been battling shit of some kind or another. I think a good vent does wonders. So does swearing. So does calling people out if they deserve it. So does a glass of wine as big as your head. Here’s hoping to much better days ahead. x
Veggie Mama says
Ha I like your prescription! I’m on it Dr Sonia x
Chantelle : Fat Mum Slim says
Two days til Merc Retro is over. I think that will help. And passive aggressive commenters… ARGH.
Veggie Mama says
Oh my gosh, that’s like, so cute the way you write merc retro! Cos that’s so a thing with bloggers now isn’t it? bloggers these days.
Chantelle : Fat Mum Slim says
I do believe you just got all passive aggressive on my ass.
I’m not sure what I think about that.
Veggie Mama says
Feels horrible, huh! so belittling, but said with fake kindness. I could spew. No more! So looking forward to tomorrow, retrograde can KISS MY ASS
writeofthemiddle says
I hope that felt good to get all that out! Did you stamp your feet too? I would have!! I have many days where I feel done too! Arrghh – been there with kids not appreciating and eating the food I lovingly prepare for them *sigh*!! As for those passive-aggressive commenters – I don’t understand why they do that? Be gone with them!! And that police officer – grrrr that got my hackles up too! Luckily these moments will pass and better ones will come! Loving the new look of your blog! Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a lovely comment yesterday! 🙂
Veggie Mama says
Thanks so much! yes I’m grateful things will pass. It could be worse! I’m all about the breathing and letting it go this week, haha x
Vanessa says
Man, I hear you Stacey. Anne of Green Gables called them Jonah Days and it sounds like you’ve had some Jonah weeks! The food/dinner thing is downright depressing too and I can totally relate. Hang in there, you are not alone. It’s crap in the meantime though. x
Veggie Mama says
A whale ate Jonah, why can’t my kids eat a potato?!
cityhippyfarmgirl says
My kids don’t do potatoes either. Why? Considering it’s the plainest of the plainest plain vegetables? Who knows. Give them a plateful of the vegetable they will eat…and a peanut butter sanga- and save the potatoes for yourself (drowned in tomato sauce of course 🙂
Veggie Mama says
roasted with lots of salt!
The Plumbette says
I laughed at that. xx
Tully & Mishka says
oh my god, this is me at the moment. Just. Eat. The. Food!! How do you know it’s yuck, if you have never ever tasted it??!!! And that feeling, of just staring at them, thinking ‘this drains me completely’! Urgh, I think my little peeps are similar ages to yours, they’re 4 and 2 and somehow think coloured foods are just too insulting to even consider. So, to add to the chorus, wine. Just, wine. 🙂
Veggie Mama says
Hahah I have a nice bottle with my name on it this evening. I definitely get “it’s yuck” and they’ve never even seen it before, let alone tried it! Now we sing the “Try it, You’ll Like it” song from Yo Gabba Gabba. They even say it to me when I”m eating!
Tessa White says
I totally eat chocolate and I got over the keeping it varied part with the kids and got onto the if its healthy I don’t care if I repeat it every bloody day!
Veggie Mama says
Yeah I think that’s where I’m at… they eat good stuff, just only a narrow variety of it. If it’s not chips and coke every day I think I can rest easy. Just annoying making dinner and it never just gets eaten. grrrrr
Reannon @shewhorambles says
I just about had a heart attack because when I seen the title of this post I thought you were going to tell me, yes just me because I’m THAT self centred, that you were quitting the internet & I was ready to cry & plead with you to stay! PHEW! It wasn’t that.
You know my food issues with my kid & my advice is just let it go. Try to get them to eat what you want them to eat & if they don’t let them eat weetbix every single fucking day like I do. To be honest, I rarely even try any more. He’s 15, he knows what he SHOULD be eating & if he doesn’t well I just don’t care any more. I’ve stopped buying all the pre-packaged junk he likes in the hopes it’ll help him try more food. So far it’s just resulted in him asking me every day when I’,m going shopping & why can’t I just buy the food he wants. He can get stuffed. He’s not starving or suffering & neither are your girls. Just take the pressure off yourself & serve them the stuff they will eat just so your head ( & heart) can have a break.
AS for your passive aggressive commenter, just let loose on them. Why should you always be the better, bigger person? Let them have some of their own shit shoved back in their face. It’ll either make them realise what they are doing & they’ll stop or they’ll run & hide. Both outcomes are a win in my book.
That policewoman has no idea what she is on about. You KNOW you are a super tops parent, anybody who knows you ( or thinks they know from reading your blog every day) would ever think otherwise. Just let that shit go.
I was in a bad way a few weeks back. Too much little shit piling on top of me so I had a big whinge on my blog, a big cry in real life, kicked myself up the arse, baked some bread & cakes & just moved right along. Being a grown up sucks balls sometimes but we can eat as much cake as we want & that’s pretty good 🙂 xx
P.S Go buy those chickens. They’ll eat anything you give them PLUS they are very funny to watch 🙂
Veggie Mama says
I feel as though chickens would be good balm for the soul! And teenagers! Man, I’m frightened of them. Especially girl ones. Maybe I should get the cop a flock of chooks?
Tina Lacy says
Thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way, hope things improve soon
ps want me to growl the mean people for you?
Veggie Mama says
haha yeah go on!
Hugzilla says
That is fucked. All of it. I know you’re not one for hugs so here is a big-ass cup of tea in a Charles & Di commemorative mug and a fuck-off block of your favourite chocolate. Fuck-off, as in “Fuck off, it’s all MINE. Go away world”.
Veggie Mama says
FUCK YES. Thanks mate. This week is already much better.
Lisa Mckenzie says
Sweetie you’re a great Mum and don’t worry about wankers .We all have those shitty times especially with children not eating ffs I still get whinging from my 26 year old son! I eat chocolate ,cry and be a cranky Mum usually…..Big hugs Stacey Xx
Veggie Mama says
Haha I can’t imagine anyone whingeing at you? You’re so lovely! I always appreciate your kind words, Lisa – they make this place a wonderful place to be x
Laney Galligan says
Disqus ate my comment. Maybe you could feed your kids your snarky comments? Two birds, one stone and all that 😉
Wish that police officer would get it together. Sucks to that.
Veggie Mama says
hahah I could print them out on bread slices!
Druime@SnippetsandSpirits says
That all sounds a bit shit Mama. I sympathise. Just keep cooking whatever you want and don’t worry about what your little ones will and will not eat. My boys eat fresh air. I am impressed with how tolerant you have been with your shit stirring commentors. You are a Star.
Veggie Mama says
Well to be honest it’s only every now and then and even though they make me feel yuck I can deal with one at a time. Maybe it was just a bad week and my defences were down! I will keep on keeping on with the dinner, I figure they have to eat something at some point!
Tash from Gift Grapevine says
Dinner time is my least favourite part of the day. I am so over the fussy eating of my tornadoes. I know it’s just a phase (and I hate being told that) but it’s bloody frustrating! The struggle is real and I feel your pain! I find a bucket of wine and a good laugh helps. Seeing that Jay Z cartoon cheered me up – I’d love to see the other 98 ones 🙂
Veggie Mama says
Me too! that would be funny. The kids ate dinner last night with minimal fuss. Perhaps they read this and decided to cut me some slack? 😉
Lisa @ Random Acts Of Zen says
Seriously man, I don’t know what’s going on lately, so much nasty stuff getting chucked around! I’m dealing with some of it, and just can’t figure out what they get out of it.
And you don’t want to hear it, but honestly the kids will grow out of it, then move onto different challenges. I’ve got a 12-going-on-25, and some days she knows how to push my buttons.
Look at your beautiful community here, and feel good about what you’ve built 🙂
Veggie Mama says
I cannot believe how many people have commented, texted, emailed, and messaged – it has utterly blown my mind! Really, it outnumbers the snide by about a thousand and for that I’m so grateful. However when my kids get to tween years, I’m not sure anything will help me through that :-/
Clyne says
Oh boy I am right there with you on the food thing with my picky 5 year old AND her picky dad. Good. Ruins. Every. Evening. And yes, when the small stuff piles up it feels like an avalanche; people being shitty when you are being nice is awful. I prescribe some YOU time if at all possible. Leave dad in charge with some junk food and you go enjoy some wonderful healthy delights with friends who get you. And some fabulous chocolate dessert. And wine. Keep up the good fight.
Clyne says
FOOD not GOOD!!!
Veggie Mama says
Thanks mate! I’ll do all of those things. I’m giving myself the afternoon off today, i’ve got a massive box of chocolate, wine time at 5pm (which will be funny with the kinder committee meeting I have tonight) and a Netflix binge. SO GOOD! If there was a picky dad here too I think I would legit throw my hands up in defeat and storm off, all mature-like.
Vicki @ BoiledEggsandSoldiers says
Oh the whole food thing is a daily nightmare at our house. My 8 year is finally ok but the 6 year old who never used to be fussy is quite frankly a pain in the arse at dinner times now, well and truly over it so I’m choosing to ignore it with the hope that she will get bored whinging and get over it herself. Time will tell and in the meantime wine works really well! Sorry to hear about the passive aggressive nastiness and the fines that’s all a bit crap but looks like you have chocolate today so that’s on the upside!
Veggie Mama says
Oh I have SO MUCH chocolate today! which I may or may not use as a dinner bribe haha
Veggie Mama says
Me neither! It makes it so much harder to bear. I the only fruit one of them eats is bananas. that’s it. I’m surprised she doesn’t have scurvy.
The Wholefood Mama says
Hearing you loud and clear on the food refusing child issue. Matters are made worse by the failure I feel as…The Wholefood Mama for cauliflower’s sake!! Doesn’t my 5 year old son know I write a blog dedicated to shining a light of hope and encouragement on getting children to eat real food. We have had a win this week though, I sent him to school with grated carrot and cheese sandwiches, on millet sourdough of course, he came home with the sandwiches uneaten so I toasted them in the sandwich press and represented them to him. Ate them. Loved them. Actually said ‘yippee’ when he saw me put them in his lunch today. Instead of not sweating the small stuff, celebrate the small wins 🙂 and yes herbal tea and chocolate are cure alls when the going gets tough.
The Wholefood Mama says
oh just to be clear they were fresh sandwiches in the lunchbox today. that didn’t read very well.
Veggie Mama says
haha no that made sense! Wouldn’t mind some millet sourdough myself, now that you mention it!
Philippa says
Oh Stacey, big hugs! I’ve been a reader/lurker for years and I think this might be the first time I’ve ever commented but I just wanted to say you’re awesome and I love your posts. I’m not a mum so I can’t really offer much advice on the fussy eating but I don’t blame you for reaching the end of your tether with the trolls. I was a blogger for years and got a big dollop of it myself. I don’t believe it’s something we should just have to tolerate and endure. You wouldn’t believe the number of times I tried to talk to people about it and they would just say “well, you put it out there. And it’s popular. What do you expect?” Well, I expect to be treated with the same courtesy I give others, thanks very much! I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but that’s no excuse for rudeness. In the end I wound my old blog down, for various reasons not just the trolling, and am glad to have gone in a new direction and start a new chapter, but sometimes those mean comments pop into my head and I really wish I had fought back. Ignoring them is the advice we’re given but it doesn’t always work, I found.
I usually go for a long sweaty run when I am done with all the shittiness that being a grown up entails! I also put on favourite upbeat music, that always helps. I suggest, if you’re a fan, putting on Kate Miller Heidke’s latest album (O Vertigo) at full blast! Especially the first song, it has a wonderful line – “as for the haters, they will be first against the wall.” RIGHT ON.
Hang in there sweets. You are not alone! I hope the dirt is off your shoulder now xx
Veggie Mama says
You are so wonderful for saying all this! Thank you. Made my day. I also agree ignoring doesn’t do much in the way of making a difference. I often use humour, but it’s lost on them. I don’t know why they get off on creating a negative vibe. Anyway, i’m off to iTunes that album!
Christina Howes says
We have been in touch before about fussy eaters, and you have so kindly followed up in the past to see how I was going. Can i just say, i applauded you for sticking to making dinner night after night after night for your girls. I gave up a long time ago. I just was so over it. I hated myself for getting so angry every night expecting that night would some how be different. That meal would crack the code. It never did so i just stopped. Now i give them 5 options for dinner and some nights it’s only two. Those two options include cereal or toast! I find that if we discuss dinner in advance, and agree on what i will prepare. My toddler pretty much always sticks to the plan. This works for us anyway and my baby eats homemade puree plus what ever my toddler has. This has reduced the stress in our house considerably. Can I just say also how nice it is to just let go? It’s so necessary sometimes. So good luck moving forward! You are an awesome mum Stacey! Oh and that awful person leaving rude remarks really makes me sad to hear. I mean? What is the point of being negative? Let us know how you go. I am interested!
Veggie Mama says
Yes – that’s it! That one night it would magically go away or they’d magically have grown out of it that day. Never works! I guess I had small wins here and there so I felt like I was making progress. And then… nothing. I ended up reducing my offerings to them but then I felt bad like they weren’t eating properly. so it might not be every night I try, but I’m still hanging in there. Thank you so much for your encouraging words x
Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo says
oh hell no… you have to pay the fine again? that is just shitty. I reckon she did it on purpose cause you are pretty. #trufax
And gimme the names of the bitches dissing you. *cracks knuckles* I’m in a mood.
Veggie Mama says
Twice. utter nonsense.
Gael - The Vinyl Edition says
I’m so done with a few things, but I’m trying to put them in a box, shut the lid and shove the freakin box in the corner until it jumps out and bites me on the arse.
If I let the crappy things get to me i end up a bit paralysed, shuffling from one thing to another and not achieving anything.
Veggie Mama says
oh totally. I can’t live like that. Plus I’d hate to think that other people were ruining my life while they were happily punting along not even realising. No thank you!
Linda says
Love your blog Stacey. You were the first blogger I put a comment on and you responded. Made me feel so special! Keep it up even on the bad days.
Veggie Mama says
No way! Well, thank you!
Mrs M says
I hope you’re feeling a little better after that vent. Hope tomorrow is looking brighter.
As for the kids, honest to god they like to wear us down, keep doing your best. 🙂
Veggie Mama says
I feel 100% better now! Thank you x
Lauren @ Create Bake Make says
Sorry to hear you’ve had such a shitty run lately. When I feel this way I find myself going on a big purging spree and getting rid of ‘stuff’ we just don’t need anymore and then I will spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and baking things my boys will probably refuse to eat anyway. I hope this week is kinder to you x
Veggie Mama says
hahah I end up taking those things to work and hoping someone, anyone will eat them!
Malinda says
I was there. I was done. I had simply had enough. So hubby let me get away. I packed a bag and for the first time in almost 7 years I was on my own – no kids, just me. Yes, the first time in 7 years!!! I was only gone for 24 hours but I feel like it was a great chance to just brush off and start fresh again. Otherwise chocolate. Or wine. Or both.
Dropping ‘down the rabbit hole’
Veggie Mama says
Oh that sounds like fun! Nothing like a break. I take them often. Nothing like not having to worry about the dishes!
Carly Wilson says
hugs ……. xoxo
Veggie Mama says
<3
Sonia@ LIfe Love and Hiccups says
I cry into my G&T.. it doesnt help fix anything but at at least it quenches my thirst whilst I have my meltdown. I am so over fake two faced people at the moment and as far as assholes who leave snide comments… seriously – why bother!!! Sending love your way chick and I would send patience for you to help you suffer the fools too.. but I aint got none! 😉 xx
The Plumbette says
Well gorgeous I hope this week is better for you. Both of my girls refused to eat Shepherd’s pie tonight. I don’t let it get to me anymore. They went to bed with an empty tummy. Its hard when you do all the right things and it still gets met with a snubbed nose. As for the passive aggressive commenters… what is with that? Why do people do that? Hang in there lovely. In the blogging community you are so well received. I went away to Kidspot and you are a favourite blogger amongst us all. Know you’re loved and those passive aggressive commenters have nothing on you. xx