I have wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember.
My mother had one of my brothers when I was just 10 years old, and from that point on, I just knew. By 12, when my other brother was born, I was a mini-mama. I would feed my baby brother before school, rock him to sleep in the afternoons before homework, and could change nappies like a pro. I taught them both their ABCs and I felt strange if I was sitting on the couch without one of them hanging off me.
I moved out of home fairly young, but I never lost the urge to have my own kids. I was distracted in my 20s by partying and studying, fitting in all the things I wanted to do before settling down and raising my own. Many of the people around me had children young, and always implored me to wait, to go and see what the world had to offer before I made such a momentous decision. And so I did.
I used to put little things away for my future babies after I got married, under the pretence that I just really liked this kind of stuff. I found this 1966 game of Memory at an op shop well before I was ever pregnant and squirrelled it away for “someday”. It was exactly the same kind as the one I played with at my nana’s house when I was little, and I really wanted my own children to play with it too. Hopefully loving it as much as I did. After six or so years sitting in the cupboard (with my giant stash of board games, oh my god I’m obsessed) it finally came out to play.
I have rarely made a decision since I was 10 that didn’t have me wondering what kind of impact it would have on my future family. Lots of the choices I chose had that end result in mind – I wanted to have a job where I could stop and stay home with babies, and then return around their needs and schedule. I wanted to be flexible and I wanted to make it to every sports day, every school assembly, every canteen duty.
When I worked in newspapers, I realised journalism was a game for the young and hungry. It was not a game for a mum who wanted to do sport on the weekends and be home to make dinner by a reasonable hour. So for at least four months before I fell pregnant, I would spend my morning’s walk trying to figure out what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be so by the time kids came, I’d be in a position to live how I wanted. I considered everything a journalism degree would get me, what kinds of work I could do around baby nap times, how and where I could make money on my own terms and be able to put my family first for as long as I wanted or needed.
Before I started my degree, I finished a certificate in education support and worked for five years as a teacher aide and after-school care facilitator. When I had kids I was going to be the first mum to volunteer to help at reading time, and I was going to be a PTA superstar. You need a school fete stall manned? I’m your… man. I bought art supplies and craft items for future collage needs, kept pencils and crayons in a little box, knowing that one day soon they would be used by chubby hands drawing me endless pictures of technicolour elephants.
Before I was a mum, I was already a mum. I was just biding my time.
brisbaneangel says
That’s a beautiful story and I can relate to much of it. Thank you for your open-hearted sharing. Parenting is the most important job we’ll ever do.
Veggie Mama says
Isn’t it. I hope I’m doing it right.
thelifeofclare says
That’s so lovely! I was the complete opposite! I was NEVER having kids and NEVER getting married. When I got engaged my firsts were surprised, not with my choice of man, but that I’d want to at all. Only now, that were talking about babies, does my stomach flip with excitement when I think of babies in the house, I’m planing our life around what might be. I have my fingers crossed that it all happens soon and without troubles.
Veggie Mama says
Ohhh that feeling! That is the best. I always wanted to get married and have kids. I used to swear that I wasn’t interested in a career but I sort of am!
Good luck with your baby-makin’! x
Lila Wolff says
Beautiful post, it’s so lovely to hear that kind of forethought going in to parenting.
Veggie Mama says
I thought I might sound a little creepy. Obsessed baby lady! I swear I wasn’t… just mindful. x
Lila Wolff says
Not creepy at all promise x
Wendy says
Oh absolutely – being a Mum is my favourite and most rewarding career choice hands-down!!!
Veggie Mama says
I’ve done so many things in my career and they’ve all been interesting and rewarding in their own ways, but you’re right – this is the best gig I’ve ever had!
HM C says
Oh, you so were. This post made me a little teary-eyed *sniff
Veggie Mama says
haha thanks for helping me party all those years ago!
Peta says
seems like it has all worked out. You have the perfect job to be living out your dream. And what gorgeous kids you have!
Veggie Mama says
oh so true, my kids are way cute!
I like to think it’s all worked out. I put a lot of thought and effort into it, and I feel so good now. So grateful!
Reannon Hope says
I love this post Stacey. How nice for your girls to know that they were wanted for such a long time & they had a mama smart enough to sort her life out first so that they’d have a great life too.
We have similar stories Stacey. I’m the eldest of 6 so my years were filled with helping my mum with my siblings, something that has continued into my adult life. I too used to put things away for my future kids but they were all little dresses I found at the op shops I scoured as a teenager. I ended up giving away all bar one of those pretty vintage dresses I had stashed away when it became clear I’d only ever be the mama of boys. But where our stories differ is I was the one having a baby 2 weeks before my 21st, I never took up my uni position so never got that career sorted…I’ve always regretted not doing my teaching degree…
Veggie Mama says
There’s still time! I didn’t start my journalism degree until I was 27 (and actually had started a teaching degree) and we’re far from dead yet. I love how you kept one little dress!
I actually got put off for a while having kids, as I’d helped so much (and been a nanny) so I knew how hard they were. But the hormonal need was always there… under the surface!
Katie Rainbird says
Love Abby’s little chipped nail polish fingers, it’s how they end up here too. Your girlies are so blessed to have you as their Mama! X
Veggie Mama says
Oh, way too lazy to sort that out!
workingwomenaustralia says
Love this Stacey. I too knew that I wanted to have children of my own one day. When I was told at 15 that I may not have children, it was devastating. What did they know? Two children later I’m doing everything i can NO to get pregnant!
As for the work that would allow me to be around my children? I honestly never knew how I’d turn my marketing degree into an at-home business, but here I am being a digital marketer from home. I’ve just returned from an hour spent assisting in my daughter’s class and my job gives me that flexibility. It’s been hard building up a business that allows me so much freedom to be with my children, but worth every minute of it.
Veggie Mama says
Yes, flexibility is what I wanted. I’m sure your babes will appreciate all your hard work with your business, it sounds like they’re getting the best of both worlds x
MotherDownUnder says
And you are a gorgeous momma.
It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I wanted kids. All of a sudden that biological clock really kicked in…something shifted and I couldn’t wait to get pregnant.
Now I love being a mom and I couldn’t imagine it any other way.
Veggie Mama says
And you’re such a natural at it!
Lisa Mckenzie says
That is a beautiful story Stacey,I always wanted to be a mum too,I just didn’t have any baby bothers to look after at home.I did not know much about mothering but it is one of the most important jobs you will ever do and I think you are doing an amazing job.I am very happy with how my kids have turned out considering they don’t come with instructions I pat myself on the back quite often and am happy with my parenting skills and so will you! What you put in ,you get back a Million times more.
Veggie Mama says
Every time you speak of your children they sound wonderful and you sound so happy. I hope I’m like that too 🙂
Lisa Mckenzie says
You will be ,you are doing all the right things and they will be awesome with a mum like you xx
Beck says
Gives me goosebumps… Love how thoughtful you are ! Admire all those qualities… Im just a spontaneous girl all my life… don’t ask me how I cope, its probably easier to be thoughtful, and organised & well planned than not… but one works well under pressure… LOL
Veggie Mama says
Oh trust me, every single other thing other than having kids has been spontaneous with NO thought behind it whatsoever. Want to move to Sydney? Sure! Let’s do that! Quit my job? no problem! But I always knew kids would happen sometime so I tried to tailor my career in that direction. It sounds like it’s all working for you! x
Keshvar S says
Oh Stacey I can definitely relate. I stowed away so many items for when I became a mum and love seeing my little man (2 yrs old) playing and loving them as I did when I purchased them. I’ve been dreaming of the day my child would be old enough to play on the grassy knoll with the other kids at my husband’s rugby games and when this became a reality just recently, I could not stop smiling. Things don’t always go to plan, but when they do, it’s pretty awesome, especially when it comes to our little ones. Thanks for your post, beautiful x
Veggie Mama says
Oh I remember that feeling! When they could run around with the other kids at footy. I love being a mum so much 🙂
cluey suey says
the Memory Game was my very favourite 🙂
Veggie Mama says
Same! the pictures are so cute.
Gin says
Loved that game. You pictures filled me with tonnes of happy memories :).
Veggie Mama says
I thought it was the best ever when I was a kid!
SlapdashMama says
That’s lovely. Bless x
Veggie Mama says
I’m just so amazing.
Sitdownmummy.com says
Winning with the hair clips there!
This is such a nice story VM.
Veggie Mama says
I had to distract her…
Mel Thorne says
That memory game I played at my Grandmas house all through my childhood and my mum now has it for my children to play with at her house. My 7 yo loves it just as much as I did, despite the distractions on offer these days of the technological variety! Our memory game has lost it’s lid and several cards, but clearly has not lost it’s appeal to the next generation!
Veggie Mama says
I think it’s so awesome! and there’s been a few readers pop up and say “I played with that too!”. It’s from 1966, so I can imagine it was pretty popular back in the day.
Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo says
You found your bliss.
Just don’t lose yourself.
x
Veggie Mama says
oh god no, i’m too selfish for that! x
Lizzy Allan says
your children are very lucky. I’ve always loved playing memory with my son; he delights in the fact that it’s the one game he can always beat me at even when I’m trying my absolute hardest!
Veggie Mama says
haha what a clever cookie!