Ok. It is decided. I’m going to make the Roseanne Afghan.
I’ve ummed and ahhed about it for a while, and as such a massive Roseanne fan and crochetholic you think me + it would be a no-brainer. OF COURSE I would make the Roseanne Afghan. It became so iconic the producers had to lock it away until filming, and they eventually stitched it to the couch to avoid it being stolen.
But truth be told I loathe granny squares like Roseanne loathes her neighbours, and the colours don’t please me. Except the black. The black is great.
Until now I just couldn’t come at the idea of such random, non-sequential colours, and also, colours.
And fiddly work like changing colours after only 10 stitches makes me want to puke. PUKE, I tell you.
But here I am. We need a crocheted couch blanket and I need a large project. I was considering making it a bit of a crochet-a-long but I cannot guarantee I will be making this with any degree of rapidity. However, I will be checking in on here with progress so do crochet it too if you like, and we can chat!
The Roseanne Afghan
I’m not going to use a pattern but you can find one here. I’m also not really going to totally worry about getting the colour combos just right but I will mostly try and stay with the ones in the picture.
I’m going to do five rounds per granny square, the first four in colour and the last in black. I’ll also join it all in black. I’ll be using a 5mm hook and whatever yarn is in my stash. If I do buy anything, I’ll be keeping it to 8-10 ply or similar for consistency.
I’m also told it is 120 squares joined in a 10 x 12 rectangle, so this is what I’m aiming for.
*thinks about how many time she’ll have to change colours in 120 squares of five separate colour rounds
*cries a little bit
Grab a hook and a beer/nameless brand of cheap soda and join me! Roseanne would want you to.
I want you to.
Reannon says
Even though I have a VERY unfinished granny square project sitting next to the couch. Even though I’ve promised my besties daughter an arcade stitch blanket for her birthday in February. Even though I had a pile of things I need/want to see. I kinda wanna join you. I even have black yarn in my stash…..
Stacey says
Do it! the black yarn I’ve got to get. I might wait for that and get it in one fell swoop so it’s consistent.
Andrea says
How many yards of black do you think are needed?
Stacey says
That’s a very good question, and one I haven’t totally considered as I was going to see how many rounds were needed once I started joining. And I was going to just use whatever I have in my stash, which is all sorts of sizes! I do say the more the better though, black comes in handy for everything.
Kat @anaussieinsf says
Now I wish I could crochet
Stacey says
My friend Carly is launching an online course to teach beginners! Check it out: http://www.crochetcoach.com/
Kat says
Thank you!
Chelsey@ Chelsey Crafts says
I love granny square blankets although it’s the fiddly bits that get me too. I’m currently using my spare yarn stash to crochet a granny square blanket, in block colours..because ain’t nobody got time for that!
Can’t wait to see your progress and I’m sure once you’re done I’ll be kicking myself for doing block colours.
Stacey says
Yeah I’ve come to the conclusion that I love things more when I’ve spent time to do them properly, no matter how much I piss and moan the whole time! I’d rather spend the time on something I’m proud of. I think, haha
Tina Lacy says
I have made one granny square blanket in the my life…………….so much faffing to stitch it all together, have almost finished the blanket I started for my SIL birthday last year……..and they Im going to attempt a pattern……….I will need help!
Stacey says
It IS faffing isn’t it! You let me know what you need, I’ll be happy to help <3
Liz A. says
Ah, that afghan. If you’re of a certain age, you know that everyone had one of those somewhere in their houses. Everyone. I have no idea where ours got to. Probably thrown out in the ’80s.
Stacey says
yeah they were everywhere in my youth! I wasn’t much attached to them and I never thought they were pretty (the hatred of the granny square runs deep here!). But I never actually had one myself and maybe now it’s time.
AndreaTV says
OMG this post brings back so many memories! They just don’t make sitcoms that last that long anymore with quality work. It was a bit edgy at times, but the truth usually is, right?
I used to crochet years ago before marriage and kids. I can’t wait to see how your “Roseanne Afghan” work out!
Grace says
It’s July 2017 and I am just coming across your blog. Having read it, I’m in! I also have been considering this on and off but reading “I hate granny squares like Roseanne hated her neighbors,” sealed the deal for me! They didn’t kill her and these granny’s won’t kill me! Thanks for the push!
Stacey says
BOOM! That’s all you needed! Did you start? Are you bored yet? I had to put it aside for a bit to make a couple of other things, but it’s still there, pottering along in the background. I still hate granny squares though…
PS thanks for sticking around!
Grace says
I decided to do it in stages. I did all 120 squares at a time, row by row. I have 68 more squares left to finish round 4 of and then I am going to do the join as you go method for the 5th round. I am so impressed with myself for getting this far in just a month!!!
Veggie Mama says
THAT IS INSANE! Well done! I feel like dropping to my knees and shouting “we’re not worthy” a la Wayne and Garth when they meet Alice Cooper
Dee says
A friend asked me if I could make him a Roseanne Afghan so here I am remembering the first Granny Square Afghan I made when I was around 10. Brutal I tell ya, just brutal! I hope you are still making progress. I ordered 50 skeins of bon bon from Amazon since I already used all my scraps for another project & his birthday in in July. I know I’m being overly ambitious to think I can get it done in time with summer quickly approaching, & living on the water, but I will try. If all else fails, I will do as my mom used to do when something didn’t get finished in time. I will wrap up what is done along with the rest of the yarn to finish it. Wish me luck.