Last week I finally got out to Kelley’s place after talking about it for two years (and skipping out on her at the last minute last time due to car shenanigans, she was NOT IMPRESSED, haha). Kelley’s blog Magneto Bold Too is one of the first Australian ones I ever read, and is still my favourite to this day.
After the serious business of discussing My Little Pony with Boo was attended to, and two small children dived headlong into a bowl full of easter eggs the size of my desire for a full night’s sleep, Kelley and I sat outside and attempted to have a conversation. This isn’t easy when you have two kids under five who have you out of your seat every 2.5 sentences like a bloody jack in the box. The 12th time they asked for the spa bubbles to be turned off, Kelley looked at me like “WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?” and I’m like “bitch, this is how I get nothing done in a day”.
Our conversation turned to blogging, as it does when you are with a fellow blogger – especially when you’ve been friends for as long as we have and have seen the changes blogging has undergone over time.
Now it made me a little bit nostalgic to talk about the way back when days – not to bash the new days, they sure are different, but not entirely anything to complain about – and it made me re-live the feelings I had when I first started this space, how excited I was, how I wanted to write, and connect with people, and how much I loved finding new blogs and reading chatty missives about people’s lives. It was a whole new world and I wanted so badly to be part of it.
It’s often not easy to get traction on a new blog, it can feel like friendship groups and hierarchies are already formed, and I felt that even back then, six years ago. But I stayed true to myself, blogged what I wanted, and thought the right things would happen at the right time. There were some confidence-killing moments and realisations that I’d never be part of the cool kids club, but I found my way over time.
Until I didn’t any more.
Somewhere along the line, I can’t quite pinpoint when, I lost my mojo. In hindsight I put it down a mixture of a few things that all merged into one giant turdburger that shat all over my weak attempts to hang on.
My kid didn’t sleep, and hadn’t slept since birth. She was a year and a half old and only 18 months younger than her sister, so my sleep debt was high and my morale was low. We had just moved interstate to a new city, and I worked two jobs. Every day was survival and I couldn’t do anything to upset the precarious emotional balance I found myself in. And what’s the first thing that will upset your carefully crafted emotional balance? Trolls!
People on the internet who would rather be an asshole to a stranger than go and have a fantastic time doing just about anything else. And not just trolls, even the well-meaning but critical people can be hard to deal with. You need to have the right attitude to roll with the gamut of hackle-raising comments, from minor burns right through to death threats and the only attitude I had was “make it through the day without crying” – I was in no state to provoke the wankers of the web.
It was also a time when GOMI was in its heyday and while I know all the arguments for and against it, I just didn’t have the desire to fan its flames in my direction when I was in no fit state to hear quite how much my blog sucked.
So the perfect shitstorm had descended: baby brain + no sleep + self preservation had all rolled into one, and I forgot how to write. Sometimes I would just sit at a screen and nothing would come out. I’d have ideas at two in the morning and zero desire to write anything in the cold light of day.
Dear reader, it’s been years now. Years of writer’s constipation. I won’t call it writer’s block, because I’ve got plenty to say, but writer’s constipation because it won’t fucking come out. Once I tried to write a 1500 word feature for a magazine and it took me 9 hours. Every word felt wrong and nothing came out how it was supposed to. It happened again, and again, and again. My ability extended to the occasional witty text and that was it.
I was talking to a writerly friend the other day and I told her of my predicament, and she said “just write”. So I write all the time now, in diaries no-one sees, each of them thrown in the bin when they’re full. But none of it is readable by anyone, it’s mostly just things like “this sun is nice” and “remember to get butter” in between the WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE HOLY SHIT pages. The mojo is still not back yet. Writing is what I’ve done since before I have actual memory of doing so. As natural to me as breathing, something I always knew would be my future. And I broke it!
So this here blog has suffered. In my line of work, I know what makes for a successful blog and I also know unless you’ve got magical fairy luck, it’s fucking hard work. There’s editorial calendars and being useful and photos that don’t look like a drunk giraffe sat on your phone, and stories that entertain or inspire. My blog has none of this and I had less time to spend on giraffes that knew their way around a Canon. When I turned around to pick up momentum, the whole damn landscape had shifted and I’d never be able to catch up.
But talking to Kelley reminded me of how much I love blogs not for their usefulness and not for their stunning images, but for the chats, the person behind the blog sharing their world. Somewhere along the line I stopped chatting – I figured nobody was really wanting to waste their time with my dribble thoughts, they wanted something useful. And I didn’t have the brain capacity for useful, so I popped it on my “to do” list for another day. Not everyone loves the chats, plenty of people are looking for the next curated image or recipe that isn’t midweek pasta. I had lost knowing what I wanted to share and couldn’t figure out what people wanted to read, so the posts spaced out until they eventually dried up. I was so concerned about not wasting anybody’s time and not annoying someone to the point they had to bitch about it on the internet, that I just stopped doing anything at all.
So that’s where we’re at. Notebooks full of angst that would rival my 1994 high school diary and a hefty dollop of the can’t be fuckeds make jack a very dull boy. The small kernel of OG blogger tucked deep inside my tired mind just waiting to open her wordpress dashboard for another day. My rampant consumption of other people’s chatty blog posts and my impressive Pinterest collection of fancy quinoa recipes I’ll never make from images I’ll never style. No real answer about what the hell I’m doing, and taking up your time telling you about it.
Will see you back here tomorrow for some more dribble. Thanks for sticking around, folks <3
Kelly Exeter says
1. I love your brain dribbles so pls keep dribbling
2. I had writer’s constipation for the first year of Mia’s life and I hated everything I wrote that year – but when I go back and look at that stuff, it really wasn’t that bad!
3. I have writer’s constipation at the moment and have been journaling and morning pages-ing like nobody’s business and it is helping. God, getting all those shot words out helps!
4. Just keep swimming my friend because you are a fine swimmer
Stacey says
I know you know how I feel! It’s so funny, I look back at the stuff I wrote in 2014, at the peak of it all, and I actually quite like it! I feel like I’m worse now than I was then… so back to my morning pages. Surely all that rubbish will produce some gold haha.
Thank you <3
Annette says
Here goes nothing – fuck useful.
Fuck yet another soulless, but oh so useful, 10 tips to being more neurotic about all the things blog.
I couldn’t care less about 16 ways with quinoa.
I like the VM vibe, the flour chucking kids, the favourite shop raves, the sleepless, what the hell happened to my master plan, just keep going-ness and I like you Stacey.
Annette x
Stacey says
I think you might just be my favourite blogging cheerleader!
Rachael says
Thank you for this.
Thank you for everything you have been doing for your people away from here. You’ve grown a wonderful community of like minded folks who are with you. And this one here who can certainly relate, albeit from a different side, a different side of the blogging thing anyway. Same side of non sleeping children.
I have written constantly since I was taught to read and write. But my confidence got kicked around many years ago, not so much in content but skill. I’m finding now with the support of some many wonderful people I’m slowing regaining confidence. Or gaining a tougher skin. Or simply not giving a fuck what others think of me anymore.
Keep doing what you do. We all think you’re pretty great x
And, oh my gawd, Kelley visited my blog. Taught me about matching Easter confectionery and booze. Winning.
Stacey says
You will love her! she truly is the best.
Once you get to the zero fucks stage, it’s great! Just keep blogging until you do. and soon… soon you’ll see what blogging can bring and it will get under your skin and you’ll be ONE OF US
Annie Pappalardo says
I miss your blog. It was always one of my favourite places to visit. My blog writing also dried up. I think our mojos are off drinking together xx
Stacey says
I like that idea. Maybe they’ll get so drunk they’ll start talking again?!
Jenni from Styling Curvy says
I love the chattiness (is that even a word) of blogs. Social media should be ‘social’…and fun. Loved your post X
Stacey says
Thanks Jenni 🙂
Rach aka stinkb0mb says
Ahhh ye olde blogging days!
When comments were plentiful, conversations were had and a thriving community helped nurture both big AND small blogs along.
When a blog was a ramble of a persons thoughts, a snippet of their story and even a snap of their lives. Where people blogged about the highs and the lows of life, where when they asked for support, 9 times out of 10, got it. Nary a sponsored post, nor gifted item in sight!
Those were the days and I do miss them.
As for what you do here, in this space? That’s easy, you write. You sit and you write. It doesn’t have to be polished [in fact it’s better if it’s not! Though something tells me it will be], it just has to be you and your words.
You’ll find your feet again, promise x
Stacey says
It seemed like a different world… but I won’t lie, I wanted on that sponsored post train! I wanted to stay home with my kids and earn a crust. Now that I do, I’m so grateful, but I do think that kind of blogging burned a lot of people and for millions of reasons it slowly all stopped. But every now and then I find a blog of old that is still kicking on like it’s 2009 and I’m re-inspired. Soon my writing will come back… maybe… perhaps! Less chat more hate makes for a dull blog that’s fo sho.
Eva says
I’ll never stop reading! You can’t make me.
Stacey says
Hahah I wondered what you were up to! Thanks for always being rad x
Hilary says
Aw, the veggie mama I started reading is back. I loved this post altho I was a bit worried it was a goodbye. It was perfect and exactly what I’d like to read at the end of the day. Ps. Haven’t slept through the night since September 2014, not that I’m counting or anything because I don’t have the brain capacity for that!
Stacey says
haha I know how you feel! What I wouldn’t give to go to sleep in my own bed and wake up 8 hours later in the same bed. I won’t lie, I’ve thought about goodbye, but I know I would regret it. so here I am, full of angst and no answers! but thanks for sticking about while I figure it out x
Jen @ Love Wednesday says
OMG why you throw those notebooks out? I bet they are full of the funniest and craziest good thoughts. I really like this runny poo post. No more constipation. Oh and I never remember to buy butter either. Thanks for the reminder. Seriously. xo
Stacey says
Hah they’re ridiculous. Utter crud! And I go through butter so much that I always think I have tons of it but I really don’t, so I need to always get it even if I think I don’t. My poor brain… it is so broke.
Shan@FortyUp says
I love this post. I love reading someone else’s waffle. It’s why I started reading blogs, it’s like a soapie, but reading it instead of watching it & it’s real! And you can relate! Someone else’s crap is always far more interesting than your own! Awesome, keep it up x
Stacey says
yes that’s what I said to someone the other day! It’s better than reality TV. And then you get to have a nice big debrief chat after. So content.
Druimé says
Oh VM you always rock, no matter what. Be you, stay you, we will follow that shit.
Stacey says
You are awesome, thank you so much!
Kat - the organised housewife says
Love it, I think the chattyness makes me read every word, I’m usually a skimmer when there are photos and headings. Loved your post xx
Stacey says
I’m so the same! I get caught up in the story and follow along. Don’t know why I thought people weren’t interested any more. Death to skimming!
Philippa says
This might be one of the best VM blog posts – nay, blog posts full stop – I’ve ever read. I related to so, SO much of it…although the only child that keeps me awake is my inner one, ha! I do miss the old days of blogging, where I was less self conscious and trolls were just cute friendly dolls from my childhood with bright hair. It felt like such a safe, supportive space to just share bits of your life, ask for support if you needed it, and give support to others too. I miss it.
I am doing Morning Pages practice right now, filling three pages each day with whatever’s in my head. It does help. I’m also trying to let go of the self consciousness, the “will anyone read this/care?” thinking. In my early blogging days, that thought rarely, if ever, entered my mind (which was both a good and a bad thing, there was a phase where I shared way too much! But hey ho)
I think we need to start a support group for recovering bloggers, its a relief to know I’m not the only one.
Please keep writing Stacey, I think you’re awesome xx
PS I made your balsamic tomato lentil parpadelle last night (but with penne), it’s my go to pasta dish now! 🙂
Stacey says
Ha what happened to us? For years I blogged as though nobody was watching and loved it all. I suppose small kids will always throw you into emotional turmoil, no matter how “easy” those children might be. And the sleep… oh man. It leaked into every aspect of my life and while the rest of it’s recovered, my poor writing never really has. and of course with less time to spare means I’m wondering if it’s worth writing something that nobody’s going to read anyway and then I go do something else that needs to get done and suddenly days and weeks are rolling by.
I’m doing morning pages when I remember, and I hope they work. When you get that support group started, i will be its first member!
Erin says
Dude, this is great brain dribble. I’m normally a lurker because PEOPLE ARE SCARY AF but hey hello I thought it would be good to add to the chorus of people confirming they want to hear what you have to say. Out of the woodwork!
Stacey says
that’s very kind! Thank you. Often when there’s either silence or trolls, you forget real people are out there digging what you do. Thanks for throwing off the woodworky shackles and piping up! It means a lot x
Jo @ You had us at hello says
THIS is what we love! Hearing the real you dribbling just like the rest of us, that’s how we relate! It was your Dawson Creek pics after all that had me at hello years ago 🙂 Blogs can often teach us new things but why not chill, sit down and have a natter. It’s nice to read a blog that nails exactly what you’re thinking of making us laugh. Makes us feel validated (yes I saw Oprah) and let’s us know we’re not alone 🙂 xx
Stacey says
I’ve got at least four years of dribble you can go back and read if you like?! I think your responses to posts like this help ME feel validated and now we can totally GROUP HUG
Becky mc says
Well. That was awful. You know ‘that’ conversation you have with your boyfriend way back when before your womb even considered homing a human. The ‘its not you, its me. I’m not ready for the commitment, you’re a really lovely person. ….but….. ‘
I thought that was what was happening, I thought you were breaking up with us! Just when things were going so well! But luckily I was wrong. Phew! Love reading your blahb. Keep on trucking. X
Stacey says
Haha you don’t know how close I was last year to the “it’s not you, it’s me” post. Small kids, work, life… I wanted to keep sharing here, but everything else was getting in the way. And then you do sit down to write something and NOTHING COMES OUT. What was the point? I thought. Yet here I am, poking around the embers, stoking the baby fire that never quite went out.
Danielle says
Yay! This is Perfect. Trolls can eat a bag of rotten dicks, I think it would definitely be soul destroying to hear all the reasons why people think you suck or don’t like what you do. I’ve hung in there Veggie Mama, yours was one of the first I found and I kinda miss it. Having said that, you have created all kinds of awesome doing gang related activity, which I realise probably won’t make you money like a blog would but it’s safe from the trolls at least and the chit-chat of real people who don’t feel the need to tear each other apart is so refreshing. This little post sounds like your lunch date might have been the writers prune juice you needed. Honest and perfect. I want to give you a hug. Survival mode is brutal.
Stacey says
I think this might be my favourite comment of all time. And seriously, how great is the gang! it truly made me realise that even though we’re all busy we’re still all in it together. That the blog might die but what its created won’t. SO DEEP, MAN.
I legit had a prune in my smoothie the day before yesterday, perhaps that’s what got things moving?!
Also yes, survival mode is tough as fuck and while I’m over the worst of it, the shadows remain! But I’ll never forgive it for breaking my brain, I can barely get down a shopping list now! Feels like I’ll never write again, haha
KP says
So tell me VM, what’s stopping you from taking the blog back to those good old days? Whose permission do you need/want? Just start today…build self confidence in snippets. I think you will recognise as the girls age “normal” life will return to you but for now it is in limbo just holding you there with it. Push that bastard aside! Write for you, thinking of us and not them. xKP
Stacey says
Ha ok my love, I will tell you – and I know it’s something you will appreciate. I have a real life, two amazing and still small kids, work, and friends. When my time is spent on these things, there is less time for other pursuits, like this blog hobby. And when your favourite hobby doesn’t make you money or enrich your life, and may even bring unwanted stress, well then you allocate less time to that and more time to the things that bring you joy.
The thing is, I want it to bring me the joy it once did. Sure I no longer have the starry eyed dreams of all the potential working in this space could bring, but I love the community aspect of it (which is now being filled by the Facebook group), and I love writing. I just don’t want to be writingless any more. I can’t take good photos, I’m not interested in dominating instagram or making videos, I just want to write. But that doesn’t make good use of my time and it doesn’t bring the joy it once did. So this is where we’re at!
But I want to change and bring back the love, so perhaps this is my first step to doing so. I’ve always only ever written for myself, which is why it stopped being here and started being in the bin 😉
Dr Sash @From the Left Field says
Dude. Nailed it. By virtue of being constipated, your constipation made for great reading. And never will I use the word constipation so much in a sentence again. It’s funny, I read blogs for so many years and loved following along like the creepy lurker I am, and I had so many words I wanted to get out and share now they’re all gone, and I feel like I’ve broken myself too. I always thought writing was my jam, but now it’s not and I’m a big fraud who can’t really do much of anything with any flair. In essence, you’re not alone. It feels like everything is so much more pressured these days. Or is it that we’re just putting pressure on ourselves? Keep doing what you do, because you do it so good. And write in those diaries. And eat all the cake. And drink all the vino. And soak up those gorgeous cherubs. There is so much time to figure the rest out. x
Stacey says
How weird is it to just know you’re mediocre? Like, to just accept you’re never going to be hitting lofty heights, but just kicking along in the middle, with the rest of the gang? Writing is my jam, but this blog has taught me that not much else is. But to be honest, it’s all I really want to do. And we had no idea how much blogging would teach us serious life lessons haha. I thought I would just say funny shit and call it a day. Now pass the wine.
Lisa Mckenzie says
Aww Stacey I’m sorry you’ve had trolls and horrible brain fog it will get better ,your girls will grow up before you know it and will sleep eventually! I like your writing I don’t often get to read everything cause you know time and stuff,but you are a wonderful writer and a beautiful human,just write whatever babe,and sending you hugs as well to help you get through Xx
Ps Kelley would have been stoked to see you I hope she made you cake mwah
Stacey says
I love that you’ve always dipped in and out! Your comments never fail to brighten my day. And yes Kelley was super happy but she’d never have admitted it to my face, haha.
Maxabella says
Big sigh, lovely, ‘cos I could have written this post word for word. Everything: the sleep dep and time suck making my thoughts so jumbled I can’t write them out. The feeling that the train full of party people has left the station and I’m standing on the platform in a ratty old ’80s prom dress with my corsage melting and my eyes all racoony with longing. The incidious comments that make me question everything I say and do, indeed everything I think. And then, a horror thought: did I unwittingly do that to you? Do we all do it to each other because fragile self-esteem — and sometimes even the most robust selves too — struggles so much under the glare and heat of the social media spotlight? Cue the internal beat-up and self-judgement. Big sigh. The only solution, surely, is what we all said in way back when: Write your truth.
I’m gunning for you. I love every truth you’ve ever written, including this one right here and the one yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that and… xxx
Stacey says
Can’t get more truthier than this, I guess! half-formed sentences, a missive not entirely finished, more I have to say and the inability to get it out right, but it’s here laid bare for all. When I stop considering efficiency and find the love of writing again maybe it will come back, but who knows?! I need to go away somewhere and sleep for a week, haha. I’m grateful to be in a better place emotionally than I was two years ago, but sad that I want and can write again but nothing comes out. I’m now so far off that train I’m not even at the right station! Nothing to do from here but run x
Pinky Poinker says
There you go… you just wrote an exceptional post about how you think you’ve lost your mojo. Ironic? I’ll be honest with you, I appreciate ‘useful’ posts but much prefer this sort of thing, writing that strikes a nerve and makes me feel a connection. You will always be the COOLEST of the cool kids to me. I’m glad I missed the GOMI days, whoever they are.
Stacey says
Oh it was so drama! We all got caught up in it, it was fascinating and also super horrible for some. I am fortunate that they’ve been pretty good to me in there actually, but my heart broke for my friends. If I felt that upset on their behalf, well then imagine how I’d feel if I was the target? You never knew when you were going to put a foot wrong, sometimes even the smallest of issues incurred the grapiest of wrath. I clammed up quick smart while I got through toddler and baby land to keep an even keel, and now that I’m on the other side I’m sitting here going “um why isn’t this thing working?!!!” Also just being home with small kids and not wanting to share their every blink with the world, I was tired and had less to say. But they do their own thing now and while I’m trying to, I’ve forgotten how. All I can do is google shit monsters and put them in your blog comments 😉
BabyMacBeth says
Oh PHEW. I kept thinking oh dear LORD this is going to be it. You KNOW how much I KNOW all this stuff. I love your blog and you always being there reading and cheering others on. I’m still sharing much in the same way as I did 10 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS AGO IS THERE AN AWARD FOR THIS SHIT BECAUSE IMMA DUE. It’s exhausting. It’s boring. It’s wonderful. It’s so fucking annoying. But it’s such a PART of me that I don’t know what else to do now. Keep sharing. Over share. Don’t think about what people think. Just do. And thanks for sharing us with us. That’s the thing I think I love most about bloggers and what those haters will never get. It’s the generosity of spirit. The sharing of their thoughts, families and loved ones. It’s a privilege that we get to see it and be a part of. Thank goodness for VM x
Stacey says
Do you know that it’s your steadfastness of just doing your thing, sharing your stuff, unchanging in the face of everything, that has been what keeps me from throwing the towel in completely? Here I am, dodging GOMI bullets and you just powered on like you always did, not letting anything change how you do you even when the bullets hit you right in the eyeballs. I think it’s incredible you’ve never read it and I think of you when I’m tempted to take a peek. Stories make the world go round, minutiae we share with each other in real life and online keeping us stitched together. I agree it’s a privilege to be invited into the lives of others and it’s made my life (and certainly my mother life) so much richer in the years I’ve been reading. Thank YOU for sharing yours, it has given me so much x
Cate says
you’re gunna think I’m a bit of a dick, but I cried reading this. Not for you, because you’ll get through the other side, with words, just like you are here… but for me, because this is so everything I am struggling with. I’ve been unsubscribing to all the guru-emails, I’ve been unfollowing all the facebook pages, I have no idea if I’m following any of them on twitter cause twitter confuses me, but I need to go back to my writing, my stories; if others are helped by them, great, if not, oh well, I’ve still captured the words for me. thanks for the reminder, off to blow my nose.
Stacey says
Ah dude. It’s such a crazy, confusing thing. It’s also something that can be totally over-thought, but we’re just trying to do our best in a world where there are no rules but the flashy seems to win. It’s the stories that stay though, whether for ourselves or others. I’m sorry you’re having a shitty time, I hope you find what you need to kick on through to the other side x
Cheryl @blissandmayhem says
I love Kelley, I love you { totally in not a freak way}. When the mojo goes, it’s so damn hard to find the want to punch in those letters on the blank screen hey? But I actually think your mojo is so here hun, it’s just a bit clouded with you know, life? I’ve only been blogging for 2 years, and in those 2 years even I can see the changes that is happening in the blogging world. But, through blogging I have met some amazing, amazing souls that I would never have met otherwise. And i get to write my shit out, on a website that I have, and its mine. I like the way you write Stacey. You have a way with the words that to me, make me feel like you could be saying this all to me across a table. Keep at it hun, You got this. Even if it is a dribble and constipation poo at a time. oxo
Stacey says
life! yes, cloudy life getting in the way of pontificating on the internet, haha. Like you though, blogging has brought me so much, and I’ve got amazingly wonderful friends I would never have known. It keeps me pooping x
Denyse says
Oh how much do I love you and the fact that I am a subscriber and your blog post landed in my email box today! I know what you mean about the ‘meh’ and the ‘aargh’ but I am also an ‘older’ blogger too and once I got to meet so many of the lovelies who blog (you included BIG time, lady!!) there is no going back. Blogging has brought me friendships with people I never would have known otherwise and lifted me up on awful days and given me food for thought as I continue to follow their journeys. I am so wanting to give you a big hug but I don’t want to over do it.. You are the keeper of my mum’s cooking memories! This is why you are one special, special person to me. Always will be. Denyse xxxx PS Blogging every day in 2015 and 2016 has helped me through a HUGE life transition called… “retirement and leaving all I know”…and I know it gives me a reason to interact each day whether I feel like it or not.
Stacey says
I’ve always been a big fan of journaling through those big life changes, but blogging is amazing because you get people on your journey with you, looking out for you and being generally rad. You’re right too, I get all those things from reading other people’s blogs, I guess when I fell off the wagon I forgot about all it brings x
Bec Senyard says
I’ve been missing you online and I had been meaning to read this post until I read Bron’s post first and she mentioned you so I came here to read what you were on about. Did you know, when I first started writing The Plumbette, I had this lovely woman write to me and send me tips on how to improve my blog not in a criticizing way, but a helpful way because she believed in my blog. Anyway, she encouraged me to read your blog because she followed you and at the time you were living in QLD and she said you were someone to watch and follow. I took her advice and I’m glad I did.
I’ve always enjoyed your blog and even when you haven’t written about vegetarian food or whatever the heck it is that you eat, I love the stories about motherhood and the general stuff that you share from your life. And when I see you question your niche I want to tell you that you are a niche of your own because no one can be Stacey Roberts and no one can blog like you. I have no idea if this means anything to you, but I hope that you will keep writing and not give up because the gift is still there, it’s just been hidden or temporarily blocked because of personal circumstances and dare I say it, doubt. Keep swimming and I know you will find your way. And you will have your readers waiting to read your every word as you’re able. x
Stacey says
Wow, no I didn’t know that, that’s so cool! Thank you mystery woman!
I’ve always loved your blog Bec, it’s such an unusual niche and always has such a lovely vibe. useful and friendly!
doubt and sleep deprivation will get anyone down eventually, and I’m so glad that maybe, perhaps, I’m on the tail end of it now. How can I not be, with people like you and words like this keeping me afloat x
Reannon says
I swear to god, I keep thinking your gonna leave me but you don’t & THANK FUCK!! You know I’m like your biggest fangirl, I love you & everything you do ( I’m total fucking weirdo about my internet friends but I just don’t care!). Much of what you say is why I stopped blogging. That & the fact I legit lost my mind last year. Who knew I’d find in a body combat class #whattheactualfuck I was never in your stratosphere but I applaud all you long time bloggers- it’s haaaaaard!!! I so DESPERATLY wanted to be part of the blogging world but truth is I couldn’t hack the pace, the comparison & the constant noise of it all.
Chatty, imperfect & real blogs have always been my favourite. Bloggers who genuinely seem to like their readers, interact with them & make you feel welcome are always the best. I’m glad you’re sticking around. You inspire me, make me laugh & don’t know anyone else who loves the 90’s as much as me except you! So if you keep writing ( & podcasting- love that shit!) I’ll keep reading & writing comments like a crazed blog stalker. xxx
Stacey says
chatty imperfect and real blogs are my favourite too, even though I do have a soft spot for the organised, professional ones! Everything looks so clean and eye-pleasing.
‘It was your chatty blog that helped me through my bread block – something that was a throwaway line to you meant GOOD BREAD FOR US! So we are useful in our uselessness. Thanks for always sticking around, blogging would be 2004% less fun without you
Bianca Wordley says
I totally hear you honey. Same boat and all. I miss the days of women getting online and writing the shit out of life to get through the day and reading and commenting and sharing because something resonated with them, not for stats or new readers and click throughs, just because life and connection. You’ve motivated me to start writing more too. I am so bored of blogs which provide me with ways to make my life better, I want to read and write about the realness of life. I’m in no shape to help anyone x
Stacey says
Back in those days, that kind of writing helped me through new motherhood and it was actually the best. Not only could I read real stories from real people, I could also reach and ask them a question and get an honest reply. Fucking great days! Will be an even better day if you pick up your pen again x
Renee Wilson says
I love you and I love dribble. Don’t ever change! Word.
Stacey says
Haha this is awesome. let’s neither of us ever change.
Tina Lacy says
I thought this was a goodbye post, Im so pleased its not :). I really enjoy reading you blog hearing about the small things, trying out your recipes. I wish I could help with the lack of sleep but the best I can do is give you a high five, so pleased your not leaving us just yet.
Stacey says
High fives are all I need. One day I’ll sleep and I’ll look back and laugh and laugh and laugh
kelley @magnetoboldtoo says
I fucking love you so much.
And my best blog posts are written on the school run. Alas no one hears them but Karl. And we know how much a troll he is.
Next spa day we will have a different kind of bubbles, deal?
Stacey says
ha deal. And thanks for always writing chatty shit that is the actual best x
Toni @ Finding Myself Young says
I have exactly the same problem for pretty much the same reasons. I don’t want to piss off the trolls, because I don’t think I could handle the criticism. Also ever since Problogger and all the must do’s that were sprouted to become a successful blogger I kind of feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Then there’s me also thinking maybe after 4 years of not becoming a big blogger I should just give up my dreams of it all ever amounting to anything. Argh so many thoughts, so little motivation. I do love the rambling conversational posts the most though because I think what we all love most about blogs is feeling like we’re talking to a friend when we read a post 🙂
Stacey says
Oh I know, it can be super confidence-killing… often the talk of the possibilities but not actually ever achieving those possibilities is totally deflating. So you have to go back to your roots and remember why you got into it in the first place and what’s kept you going. often being a big blogger isn’t all it’s cracked up to be x
Vicki @ Boiled Eggs & Soldiers says
Phew you are still here! Nothing messes with your brain like sleep deprivation and I don’t know about GOMI but it doesn’t sound nice. Everyone here loves what you have to say and you know what I bet your girls will love having access to your blog archives when they are older too. I’m just about finished reading “Big Magic”, (have you read it?) that struck a chord too. Love your work and your words.
Stacey says
No I haven’t read it but I know I should. I will.
And yes, how weird/cool will it be for them to look back. They will know how much they were loved.
Kate says
Dance to the beat of your own drum… and what an awesome sound it makes. x
Stacey says
as long as it’s not one of my kids playing it
JF Gibson says
I think that the most ‘useful’ and ‘value-adding’ posts are the ones without intention. Those random rambles are what I read blogs for.
Stacey says
I think they can be both (because the useless posts are hard work, nobody does them without intention!) but the ones with the most heart are the rambles x
Linda says
Stacey I love your blog. Whatever journey, whatever place it goes I want to travel with you. It’s a strange world but I totally love reading your stuff.
Stacey says
It’s a mega strange world, but now it exists I wouldn’t want it any other way. Thanks for being so cool, Linda <3
Kit@lifethroughthehaze says
I am super excited to have found you! I hadn’t stumbled across your writing as yet and it seems a little bit strange to me as to how that is! Anyway, I am pretty glad that there seems to be a series of writers connecting back to why they started blogging including links back to where it started.
I look forward to discovering more about you and your story.
Stacey says
Well, welcome aboard the Veggie Mama train! We’re slightly crazy but mostly good-hearted. I hope you like it here 🙂
Mrs Woog says
The reason why I am a veggie-holic is because I never know what I am going to get. Open those bowels and let it flow! Love you xxx
Stacey says
Love you too mate, thank you for always keeping it real x
Seana Smith says
Hmm… I’ve always, always, always written useful stuff… because the blogging came from (#bloodyuseful) books I wrote and because of my old media background I think. It’s useful but doesn’t really have community… but I can manage that wheareas I don’t know if I could manage a lot of narky comments… and I think deep down that people won’t/cant relate to me cos I’m too different than readers… and… and… I have these kids who are teens now and don’t want me to write about them and my husband is super private and… and… one day I might want to stop writing that one and sell or give it away… Funny how when you write a whole list of reasons for something you eventually get to the one that means the most… Mine is really a book posted online, a resource guide… but I dream of my post-kids blog baby, one I’m planning and long to be more real and more myself on that… maybe I could be brave and just try on the current one…. Veggie food for thought!
Stacey says
I know, the evolution of the blog – where does it go? what can we write? what do we want to write? what do readers want? I think useful blogs are awesome… I think all blogs have their place. Not everything has to be a personal blog to still have stories x
Robyna says
I love the rawness and honesty and most of all I love the conversation that this post has made happen across so many blogs.
Stacey says
Me too! such a surprise, but it sounds like so many people have been feeling all sorts of things lately and we’re all not quite sure where we’re at. But one thing remains – the personality of it is the most important thing.
Deborah says
I can very much relate Stacey. When I had my Diet Schmiet blog I just wrote from the heart. Every day. I spewed stuff out. I had a very small audience, but that was fine. I had a creative outlet and somewhere to vent and share the things rattling around in my head.
And then things have changed. This past year I’ve slowly cut back on ‘personal’ posts and I’ve been almost only doing book reviews.
However – I’ve been feeling voiceless and frustrated. I realise I have gotten caught up in the almost-competitive world that blogging has become. Even after 7yrs my stats are woeful.
This month I decided to attempt to blog every day. No. Matter. What. And about anything. Just write… in an attempt to rediscover my voice and my blogging mojo. I’m only a week in, but so far so good.
Deb
Stacey says
I think that’s a fantastic goal! I’m sure it will bust you out of your slump and at the end of it you’ll be glad you did it. I have blogged every day this week since the confession and I’m feeling much better for it! I forgot how much I love this place. And if it kicks me out of my writer’s block, then all the better! Good luck Deb, I can’t wait to see what else you’ll be writing x
Sesame says
I will confess, yours is probably my favourite Aussie blog. I come back for the food and writing. I won’t go all fan girl, but anyone who can inspire me to figure out how to make vegetarian sausage rolls has magic to offer the world.
Stacey says
Dude, that is just the nicest thing! Thank you. Favourite is a big deal. So are sausage rolls…. yummmmmmmmmm
Erin says
I have a confession to make…I signed up to your newsletter with a different email address (even though I was already signed up) because I wasn’t getting your updates and I thought I must have dropped of the mailing list! I am both relieved and saddened to hear about your perfect shit storm of events-sad because you rule and I love reading your blog and it makes me bummed that I didn’t realise things were so catastrophic, and relieved because I’ve pretty much been going through the same thing (but sans blog and a job – I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been had I had those to contend with on top of two kids under 3 and sleep deprivation), so there is a bittersweet comfort in solidarity. My solution was withdraw from public life for oh, like, a year. I’m only just starting to come out of the fog now (even though my 18 month old still wakes up at least 5 times a night *_*). Keep on writing whatever the goddamn hell you want Stacey! Keep on writing anything really. I bet you make even a shopping list sound like something I want to read.
Stacey says
Oh the sleep, I’m so sorry to hear that! I so, so know. and moving and everything is hard, getting used to a new house… hell two under 3 is hard! But thank you for your encouraging words, who knows, I might do a shopping list just for you!
Vyonne says
Hi Stacey, I’ve just found you, so I have no idea of your past blogging, but I enjoyed your conscious streaming from this post. I’d say keep it up cause you were honest, real and entertaining and we need more people like you.
Stacey says
That’s so nice of you Vyonne, thanks! it seems I’ve opened the floodgates and now you can’t shut me up, haha
Lisa Barton-Collins says
Thanks for writing this post. It’s made a big difference to so many bloggers, me included. xx
Stacey says
I had no idea it was going to! But the discussion has been so interesting. I’m so glad it helped x
Karin @ Calm to Conniption says
I am finally getting to read this you trend setting, truth talking, useless blogger! Not that I think you are useless at all. I like this, I like all of it. I have been feeling weighed down lately of all the seriousness of blogging and was quietly tip-toeing out of the room. I was feeling ick until I begun thinking back to the days when I was just a reader. I liked all the chat. No one was telling me how to create the perfect bento box for my kids lunch (not that I had kids back then), or 10 reasons I need to feel inadequate. Cheers to the chit chat, and the soul dumps, and the unstyled photos of real life.
Stacey says
Let’s never forget again that in between our googling of how to cook quinoa, we do really want to talk to other people and hear about their day. I mean, I actually probably do need 10 Ways to Style Your Coffee Table as I’m clueless af but I also want to put my tea down on it and read a story.
Alyson says
Allison Tait mentioned your post on her podcast, which I listen to whilst walking, and I stopped in my tracks. After 8 years of intermittent blogging I never got on to the useful posts – they all ended up in a piss take. Every now and then I’d get a rocket under my bum, but it would subside when I realised my need to write couldn’t play nice with seo and key words and blah…so they’re chatty. All of them. They’re not famous but they have friends, and I’m fond of them, so Yay! I guess. Here’s to non useful blogs and all their wonderful chatty posts!
Stacey says
Why change when you’re already on a winning streak? Here’s do doing whatever the fuck we want on our blogs 🙂
Caroline Makepeace says
It’ so funny I stumbled across this post today as I’ve been feeling the same way myself lately and putting a lot of thought into what to do about it. Actually this is the first comment I’ve left on a blog for some time!
The useful posts are so important to what we do and I think perhaps my niche makes things different. But, we get sooooo many emails and messages from readers who tell us how much our posts have helped them travel more. That’s why we have our blog to help people do that so the useful posts can’t stop. But, writing these posts are exhausting and consume so much of our resources, I miss just writing short, personal stories and insights.
What I do every week though is write these via email. I get such a huge response from them. Craig keeps encouraging me to write them on the blog as well. But, I like to give something personal to my email community because they’re committed and have invited me in and not a passerby who often times loves to get what they need leave, and sometimes with a nasty trail.
And, I have zero motivation to write these on the blog. The reason being, I feel the soul of them gets stripped out. Because I have to edit and format and SEO and put in the right headings and images and have pinnable images and different sized images for Facebook and then I have to promote the crap out of them so people can actually read them and get frustrated by Facebook algorithms that don’t show them anyway, yada yada yada. So the stories remain inside me. And they’re itching to get out.
What also makes things more frustrating in our niche, I’m not sure if it’s the same for others, but the constant instastaged and Facebook updates. It seems as if an instagram photo is not worthy unless you’ve got someone standing staring off into the distance holding the brim of their hat, holding a rainbow coloured umbrella in the poppy fields, or sitting in a hammock in the middle of a snowy alpine forest smoking a cigar. I kid you not. My recent favourite was someone in their bikini on a rock in the middle of the ocean striking a yoga pose. Is this seriously what society has become?
There’s no freakin reality or soul anymore. Where are the stories – the real travel adventure. It’s one reason I love Snapchat so much – it’s all in the moment, raw and unedited. It gives me stories.
People are being sold these untrue and unrealistic travel dreams and are not given any help in making it a reality for themselves – which is why our blog posts are super useful as we help them cross this bridge.
So what I’ve decided to do, so I can share my personal stories with the insights that inspire, give people hope and start the conversation is turn my weekly newsletter into a blog post on a Wednesday. Craig will take care of turning it from my story into a formatted thing. I just don’t have the stomach for it.
And then I’m starting Notes from the Road – an email series. These will be the frequent stories that I can write in 20 minutes that are straight from the heart and soul, and apart from a few spelling edits, will be completely raw and unfiltered. They’ll come whenever I feel like writing them, just like letters from a friend we all used to long ago like receiving. I’m so tired of people telling me to be consistent with my emails – same time, same day, let’s bring back a little bit of unstructured living. They’ll share my travel anecdotes and be filled with positive, inspiring messages and they’ll be given to those who want to receive them – no trolls allowed!
I’m excited about it and it’s brought back so much mojo – creative freedom and deeper meaning again – and defintely now winter hammock swimming and downward dogs on rocks in the middle of oceans.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Stacey and for listening to mine.
Caroline Makepeace says
That should say “Instastaged and FAKEbook updates”
and “definitely NO winter hammock swinging”
Stacey says
You know what? I fucking love this. I want to see unstructured thoughts and snippets from the road.
I agree, this kind of freedom now means I’ve got so much more motivation. I also do the useful and I do them as I’m supposed to to help get them read. but just knowing I can drop in and chat like I used to has given me a big jolt of joy. Also how good is snapchat! Nobody to impress, nobody to answer to, no need for a perfectly captured photo, just life, straight up. I’m loving it.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here, it’s always so interesting to hear other perspectives and understand other experiences. I hope your new series goes well for you (I too can’t email on the same day at the same time, haha. But I always sneak a little something in for the subscribers, that’s a huge commitment) xx
Paris says
[…] I GOT MY LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF ROBINSONBUCKLER11 @GMAIL. COM […]
This is so amazing.
You can also get help form him.
I am so happy……..;-)
Bruno says
Cool name ‘ the veggie mana’…how did you come up with it?